REALLY AWFULLY RACIST RHYME

TO PUT YOU IN THE MOOD FOR THIS ONE, JUST READ, LISTEN TO OR WATCH THE NEWS.     ANY NEWS.

 The human race needs to be scratched
As something that cannot be won;
 Participants all are mismatched,
And it never should have begun!
  Of all the species one might pick
  Upon, into a race to stick,
  This one will really make you sick -
With cheating it is overrun!

 As spectacle it is obscene;
Competitors ugly, indeed;
 All sickly, and not very clean -
They are quite a horrible breed!
  To put this lot into a race
  Is nothing short of a disgrace;
  They are completely out of place –
A FINISH line is what they need!

© Colonialist October 2011 (Letterdash/Wordpress Blogs)

WRECK HOARDER, PEA AN' NO END VIOLENT TREE-OH

  This is my sneaky way of luring the musically challenged to view a post which refers to a:

RECORDER, PIANO, AND VIOLIN TRIO

which you must admit is what the Subject sounds like.
  Hey, where has everyone dashed off to?
  Well, just in case anyone is left, let me say that as you may have noted (giggle) one of my spare-time activities lately has been to compose a first movement of my second of these animals. The results are posted in the top player under my badges.   Be warned – it goes on for nearly eleven minutes.
  I had fun with it. The opening sees the recorder do a two-octave scale and then a wiggle one whole note above that before coming down a bit again. This gives the player an early indication of the range I expect. I never go beyond that into the ‘window-covering’ higher notes, so a moderately-skilled player can manage.
  Then the violin comes in, and is joined by the piano, after which they carry on separately or together.
  I have enjoyed bringing into a fairly melodic work some tensions by way of liberties on the time, without actually changing it. This works well to create a slight feeling of unease in places where the music leaves the jollier sections.
  As always, I have tried to create the sort of listening experience which takes one on a ‘quest’ type of adventure (which I so enjoy writing novels about as well).

© July 2011 Noble Endeavours Blog (Blogger)

PUNCTUATION - REALLY AWFUL

Gotta    -     Before I do

Show some writing tools to you

Name with which you plan we grip this

We would call it an    …

When to a query best one hark

It should be shown by    ?

For emphasis creation park

At end an    !

Most may think that you know Greek

If you call this an    /

But wee habit of the trash

Is to name it forward    /

Though it should not cause a backlash

If one says this is a    \

Shortest pause is coming from a

Placement of a little    ,

But for longer lemme roll on

With a wink a    ;

That is semi   With the whole on

Body part you have is    :

At each sentence end you drop
In conclusion a    .

Though the Yanks are truly weriod

And will call    .    a period

Thought that I would never crack it

Finding rhyme to go with    (

To enclose them then with this

Puts words in     ( )

Last one I will toss to see

Is a small    ’

Placed in pairs converted from is

Then known as    “ ”

© September 2010 Colonialist (Letterdash)

FRIDAY FLASH 55 - FAITHFUL

Rhoda’s blue eyes brimmed. ‘ …and when I just have a visitor, your decrepit mongrel goes nuts. I’ve had it! He goes - or I do!'

After staying to the end with his boyhood companion, Mike drove to a secluded spot and sobbed.

Rhoda was phoning. ‘Tomorrow afternoon let’s make it here, Frank. Dog problems over.’

© August 2010 Colonialist

THEME THURSDAY EQUALS ... ?

=

An ‘equals’ symbol two lines show,

One is above and one below:

At showing ‘equal’, that’s a flop,

For one line’s always on the top!

ll

Equality might greater be

If lines had verticality?

But that is also not so bright -

One’s always left; the other right!

+

Should, then, a plus sign make the grade?

No, with success that can’t be laid;

For such opposing lines reflect,

Additionally, wrong effect!

x

‘X’ would then seem to be the best

To get equality addressed –

But still, with that, you’d lose the plot:

X multiplies to mark the spot!

© August 2010 Colonialist

SWAPPING SEXTENTSIONS – REALLY AWFULLY X-RATED!

You ever had a yen ter
Become the other gender,
And have some bits where formerly were none?
It could be quite impressive,
Conversely, though, depressive,
Those body parts designed for having fun;
A sudden superstructure,
Requiring DD-cup-ture,
Would need some quick adjustment of the stance;
Or, things that tend to dangle,
If caught up in the mangle,
Might overcome desires for romance;
And, if quite used to rising,
It could appear surprising
When nether parts remained right out of view,
While sudden new protrusion
Could really cause confusion,
And leave one not quite knowing what to do;
Then, getting monthly gut-ache
Could certainly not but make
One greatly disillusioned with that state;
Yet, having one’s midsection
With permanent projection
Could easily be something one might hate;
Though it might be exciting
At first, when over-nighting,
The pleasures of the change would quickly fade,
So earlier effusion
Would lead to disillusion -
Perhaps it’s best to stay as we were made!

© August 2010 Colonialist

Magpie Tales - A FEAT SOAK CLEVER

Beware of dangerous punning levels - you have been warned!

Warmly immersed;

Going with flow,

Day is rehearsed -

Toe-tally so!

' "This piggie went..."

Market, oh-ho!

"Home-time this spent" -

That's a no-no!

"This had roast beef"...

Meat's getting low;

"This none." Good grief,

Don't I just know!

Like my "wee-wees"

It's a no-show...

Soapless, one sees -

That to my woe!

Wish I could tap

Into the flow;

This sud-den crap -

Faucet to go!'